Susan Herndon

It was such a beautiful day today~ I took Tootie, the puppy dog, for a nice long walk at the dog park. We were about to get in the car to go, when I answer a call on my cell phone from a friend. Just then, a youngish woman walks by us and scowls, "you need to keep your dog on a leash." Tootie is pretty well behaved, but I answer politely, "oh, i'm sorry, did she do something....?" "Well, I had to pick my dog up," she snapped. I look behind her at the acres and acres of empty park, wondering about this encounter, when she then exclaims, "And get off your phone!"

Wow.

Ten years ago, in my politesse, I would have sucked this up and let it all go. But I'm older now, less calm and more cantankerous, have not been doing much Yoga lately, and very little meditation. In fact, I've been completely stressed and under quite some duress in my life, so I let this self-appointed-cellular phone/doggiepark policewoman have it.

 ***

I really hate conflict and thank goodness things like this don't happen very often. But it did make me think about an incident that happened about five years ago when I was on a gig in Tahlequah at Roxie's.....

It was a song swap with a bunch of guys and a girl comes out and assaults me and then she goes around slandering my name. In hindsight, I think I was so stunned-- first of all that this person did not even live in that town, had driven however far to get there, and then attacks me-- I did nothing. I went home, told my husband about it and a few friends and just chalked it up to her being crazy and to steer clear. I took what I thought was the high road.

But then a few months later I hear that she had started a rumour and spread a lie about me..... and then a few months later I learn that she's trying to malign people in the musical community against me. I'm suspecting this at first, but then I find out for sure when my best friend forwards me a message that this girl had sent to her where she's pretty much trashing me. My brain just does not wrap around someone doing this. Still, I do nothing. I'm thinking: this girl is a sociopath.

In the meantime, I'm getting a flood of messages from the sociopath and she's wanting to be my friend. And more and more, there she would be at the same social setting where I was, being sugary nice to my face and in front of other people, while all the while i knew she was trying to screw me from behind...... Still, I take the high road and just keep to myself and keep going about my business.

(...the problem, I've found out now, five years later, is that NOBODY IS ON THE HIGH ROAD! Everybody is down on the low road dishing the dirt. Even God. Or so it seems. And if you don't say anything~ you're doing yourself and the world a disservice.)

Look at Hitler and Nazi Germany. How stupid humans are! Look at all of those people, in their herd mentality, following this insane little man.... slowly taking over 1/3 of the world, killing how many people.... and not until a chunk of the world rose up was this evil defeated. How scary and frustrating to the spirit when some weird fraternal order goes about imposing its exclusionary beliefs on society.

And that's what really creeped me out about this particular little vignette in my life-- almost more than the hungry-ghost behaviour and evil-doing of this girl, although that was pretty creepy, but-- that anybody would believe her. A dear friend of mine (from whom, come to find out, she'd stolen some stuff) kept telling me~ "Be glad! She's doing you a favor weeding anybody who would believe her out of your life to begin with! You wouldn't want to be friends with them!"

But it was creepy, nevertheless.

I would gig someplace, she would try to gig there. She would hear my song about the roads in Oklahoma, next thing i know, she's got a song about the roads. I go to look at the trailor a friend is selling, she hears about it and goes to look at it too. I get a short hair cut, she gets her hair cut short. I become friends with some obscure person, the next thing i know she coyly seeks him out and befriends him. I schedule a show or event, she would schedule something similar at the same time. And on and on and on. It was getting a little freaky.

Again, in my mind, the universe is infinite and expanding~ like at the doggie park~ there are acres and acres of universe! There's enough for everybody and more! But, things are also finite and you go down your chosen path and it's a lot of hard work and sacrifice to make music for your livlihood-- did she, who's been given a barn to live-in and apparently doesn't really understand what it means to work for a living, have to come around and try to tear down what I've worked hard to build? Did she really have to come stealing after something in my life? And do people really believe her crap? As big as the universe is~ it's also a small world, after all....

And in it, my little ego wants an apology from this damned souless and sinister creature of evil for coming after me.....

Of course, I won't get it. ( For that matter, I doubt she's apologized to all of the wives and girlfriends of the guys she's blown.)

I'll never forget, years ago~ I was waiting tables one night at a place called Pinks and I stop at the bar to fill a drink order. Paul, sitting there, turns to me and says with that great smile-full-of-wonder, "You know what I don't understand sometimes? Why does God let some people exist? You know? Why does He even have them in existence?"

Hahahahahahahahah!

I've wondered that same thing since then, myself.